Put Up or Shut Up America, Eat More Hot Apple Pie!"
Posted by Mister Cantankerous at Monday, August 27. 2007 
Categories: I Would Have Gotten Away With it Too If it Wasn't For Those Meddling Kids
Categories: I Would Have Gotten Away With it Too If it Wasn't For Those Meddling Kids
Well I'll tell you what I think; I think that if you want to stop having to repeat yourself three or four times at a Fast Food joint like the local McSkimpy Burger simply because English isn't evem the second language, much less the first language of the person behind the counter taking your order, then you damn well better start showing some support for the staples of our American way of life, by eating more Hot Apple Pie Gosh darn it!. That's what I think. Who the hell doesn't like Hot Apple Pie, and what kind of person has the gall and temerity to call themselves an American much less doesn't take advantage of a two for ninety-nine cents offer on Hot Apple Pie? God Damn fermented grape swilling Euro-trash Commie Bastard's thats who! Those are the very same kinds who take perverted delight in knowing they made a sweet old Lady weep, by their refusal to eat more Hot Apple Pie, and that old lady might very well be your own dear, sainted Mother!
As such, I am hereby founding, and launching the Official "Put Up or Shut Up America, Eat More Hot Apple Pie!" Campaign. If you truly consider yourself an American Patriot, every time you end up in some fast food joint that has Hot Apple Pie on the menu, you will show your support of our "American Way of Life" by ordering said Hot Apple Pie, and consuming its molten fruit filled pastry goodness, proudly declaring yourself to be a true American. While we may very well suffer some casualties along the way as those unable to read the content warnings on the side of the packaging horribly scald their lips and permanently damage their esophagi, such is the price of freedom, and these people are the True Heroes of the cause. As Pappy used to say; "you can't make and omelet (another American staple) without breaking a few eggs".
We don't need fancy-schmancy panty-waist looking pastel colored ribbons, or washed up pop stars looking to make a quick buck to prove we are Patriots, leave that to those Left Wing Iced Capamochalattechino slurping Bono/Sting Album buying Commies who think all it takes to be an American is to put some lame ass ribbon du jour on their Japanese or German made Automobile, or sport some hunk of colored plastic around your wrist instead of a good old fashioned American made Timex. No we don't need any of that nonsense. Real American Patriots will do what true Americans do best, and have always done in the past living or undead. We will open our huge American Pie Holes loud and wide in the name of Truth, Liberty, Freedom, and the Pursuit of Happiness, and then fill that gaping pie hole with some god damn Made in the USA Hot Apple Pie. God Bless America! God Bless Mom's Hot Apple Pie!
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Keep the good works comming.
I am from Tajikistan and also now'm speaking English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Heap international business class plane tickets online to any worldwide destinations."
With best wishes :-D, Canace.
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